I’ve been afraid of the dark all my life. Growing up Catholic, each of us kids had our own shrine to Jesus, complete with a plastic glow-in-the-dark Mary. My shrine was in the closet on top of a row of drawers and each night we would open up the closet and kneel before the shrine to pray. Then, my mom or dad would tuck me in, turn off the lights and close the door. I was deathly afraid of the dark – so, what was up with sleeping in pitch black?! My parents were not too sympathetic, for as we all know, there’s nothing out there and nothing to fear. So, I had to brave out those minutes before sleep came, averting my eyes from the glowing Mary who appeared to float in the air. No way was I getting out of the bed to close the closet doors - I just suffered.
Sometimes, in the middle of night, I’d wake with a start completely spooked. I was even more afraid than when I fell asleep at night. I’d quickly tip-toe to my parents’ bedroom which was next to mine, and quietly stand in front of my mother silently wishing her awake. I tried not to look around as if I didn't want to see what was out there, just focused on my mom. I was so scared, I dared not speak or move. She inevitably woke up which seemed to make whatever was out there go away. She always just sent me back to bed and thankfully I could go return to sleep having found comfort.
I limped along with this fear of darkness through adulthood. The feelings would intensify if I saw a visually disturbing movie or read a scary book because the images stuck in my head like glue. I avoided watching or reading anything disturbing that might re-play in my head, over and over, like a broken video player. Without mom to run to, night lights were strategically placed throughout the house - no more glowing Mary for me, thank you!
But, guess what?! I am no longer afraid of the dark! Looking back, it was if I was blind-folded, sensing something out there, but not being able to see or know what it was. And now, that I can see and hear more clearly, I can find out what goes bump in the night. All I have to do is ask, “Who's there?” and the visiting spirit answers and conveys their message.
Even though I'm now okay with the dark, I prefer sleep to staying up at night to chit-chat. Pretty early on, I set out my own rule for communicating with spirit. I try not to take calls late at night prior to bedtime or in the middle of the night. I figure there are enough daylight hours in which to talk and I'm human after all, I need my rest! Sometimes, I hear messages from spirit at night, but I’m only semi-conscious, not fully awake- which is fine. Can we earthly beings make our own rules? I really don’t know, but am grateful that for the most part it seems to be working!
On a deeper level, perhaps fear of the dark is a metaphor for fear of the unknown. And when light is shed on darkness, what is unknown becomes known, and there is nothing left to fear.
Last Sunday's sermon dealt with this very same topic, coincidentally (weird how that's been happening a lot lately). Father reminded us that light eliminates dark. Where there is light, there is no dark. There is nothing to fear. May we all find our way toward light.
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